Major 3^rd Eye Reconstruction, Heart Reopening and Synchronization

The last couple of days have been the worst and best days of my life. I am actually glad and even thankful to have gone through them but they weren’t much fun.

The worst days were Monday and Tuesday, but the set up for the worst days of my life goes back a few months ago to about ten years ago. At the beginning of the year, I told God/Spirit I was ready to make that shift I had been struggling to make. I did a major Feng Shui overhaul on my house and office. I redid it all. Little did I know what I was asking for and setting in motion. I took a few other steps to “proclaim my aim.” A little thing here and a little thing there…like a snowball rolling down a hill.

What was the shift I was asking for? I really didn’t have the words for it, but I have felt more and more mental. I used to be able to mediate so easy. I enjoyed letting everything go and just floating in silence. It was comfortable. For more than a year now, I could not get to my comfortable silence. Looking back today, I see that in lieu of getting the silence I distracted myself more and more with projects. My mind had gained control over me and I could not shake it.

I had tracked the beginning of my mental takeover back to an intense week long study in shamanism and altered states/consciousness through dance. We studied daily, mediated (trance danced) two hours a day and ate a strict macrobiotic diet. This type of dancing is the quickest and most powerful way to go deeeeep. So we got pretty clean and high. At the end of day 5 we all gathered and watched a powerful movie called “Baraka - A World beyond Words.” It shows both the beautiful side of humanity and the not so beautiful side. You have to be in the right mind set to watch it. I don’t recommend to everyone. Anyway…the combination of being so clean, high and watching the movie in a meditative state blew my heart wide open. I remember going outside afterwards, sitting by myself and looking at the night sky. I could feel so much. It was amazing! However, the next day at breakfast, I looked at my breakfast and broke down crying (if you see the movie you’ll probably get why). I cried all day about all kinds of things. My heart was fully open and I couldn’t handle the inflow. That night when we had some free time, I went and got a pizza. It was my way of closing my heart back down. Once your heart is blown open that wide there is no closing it all the way back down, but with that pizza and my mind over the next few years I was able to hold my heart’s eye at a squint.

Another interesting part to this story, which I just remembered, is I had signed up last November to retake this course. Unfortunately I was unable to go at the last minute. I guess this was one of those zigged when I should have zagged moments.

I also had started teaching a group of 4 beautifully hearted women in November. They all have lots of heart and for different reasons of their own had done as we all do…mentally close them down. They were still more in touch with their feelings than me and my thinking. There were a few days that I would get totally mentally sidetracked. We all noticed it. It was like their collective feminine feeling energy was working on me, helping to push me more open. It is funny, looking back I can see so much was going on to get me to the worst two days of my life.

Fast-forward to March. I had some sinus issues that I normally never have. For about a week I had drainage and all the fun stuff that goes with it. Then I was fine. I even went to the lake and had lots of energy, so I stopped taking my extra vitamin C. A week later I woke up with conjunctivitis in my left eye. I hadn’t had conjunctivitis since I was a kid. That faded a little bit and then my head got real full. I started back on my vitamin C.

That weekend at tapping group they tapped on me and hit the nail on the head numerous times on the source of my illness. Especially when someone prompted me to say “I don’t have to think.” I couldn’t even say it. Trish had to say it three times for me to finally and reluctantly repeat. There it was my booga boo mental demon. I had spent years collecting information and my mind was in control and it didn’t want to let go.

The tapping helped me get some really powerful ahas that helped me through the worst two days of my life. However the once little snowball was now an unstoppable force. That night it went in my left ear. By the way, only the sinuses on my left, my left eye and ear were hit with this. The left brain is the masculine mental brain. The feminine side – the right has been cool the whole time.

Monday I wake up okay. I get up to feed the animals and find myself stumbling like a drunken pirate. I laid back down and the spinning continued. I then had to clumsily run to the toilet to vomit. I crawled back into bed and didn’t move for two days. I had to keep my eyes closed and not move. If I moved I vomited. I could eat anything. I managed to get an Advil down every once in a while but it didn’t do much for my aching back. I couldn’t move so my back was in horrible pain. So there I was spinning out of control, eyes closed, head and face planted on the mattress with a buzzing noise in my ear. I was completely out of control. After all that spinning, I have a new found respect for my pilot friend Martin.

There was no distracting myself no escaping processing those things I had been avoiding. Is this what I asked for? Uhhh could I change my order? No! For such a mental person that keeps himself busy there couldn’t be a much worse place to be. I was stuck in my own pain, illness and darkness and this time there was no escaping it. Lots of horrible things go through the mind and sometime get stuck. I had to do the mental cleaning. One by one, feelings and images came to me demanding my attention. Feelings like being completely alone, scared to die. I couldn’t hide from them in my current situation. I had to feel those feelings that we all try to avoid. I had to feel them completely. I tell you that was a serious workout, especially since my physical body was in the middle of its own fight. I was asking for a bog change though. After the first day however I started to feel okay, not physically I was still spinning like a top. A sense of surrender…of letting go took over.

The things I took for granted before were gems now. Like to simple hear that barking dog in the next door neighbor’s backyard. I now wanted to hear the dog I deemed annoying. Being in a constant mental state I didn’t have time for such annoyances. Are you really helping bring light and love to the planets when you curse your computer for not going faster than you?

My heart had been reopened. At this point the spinning was worse. For fear of having to be taking to the hospital for a 5 day stay on IVs on top of having to cancel my appointments, I opted for white man’s medicine. I got an antibiotic. This was a God sent, because I don’t have a doctor. In the past ten plus years I have seen a doctor once. Thankfully Laurie had some connections and worked some magic.

Day 3 I am still spinning, but I can open 1 eye and sit up after 5 minutes of effort without vomiting. I sat on the couch looking out the window and cried about how beautiful it was and how I had been rushing past it all this time. My need for distraction had been lifted. Just to be able to sit on the couch see out side with my one good eye and feel the breeze felt like heaven.

I am also filled with gratitude for all the people that helped me. It is like my heart is overflowing, but in a different way than before. I have a renewed hope. I see more the beauty in people and I choose to focus on that. I know there are lots of things we are facing as a nation now but I believe in the goodness of man and that we will pull through this. Right know we face issues of money and health. We are being asked to reevaluate what we put our value in. Is it things or is it people. We are also being asked to reevaluate how we treat and care for our bodies and other people’s bodies. Will we take responsibility for what we put in, around and on our bodies or will we continue to give our responsibility to others. 

Day 4 (today) I am still a little dizzy. I can hold both eyes open and I can walk without running into walls. I made myself 3 eggs this morning (the most I’ve eaten since Sunday) and sat outside. Again filled with more gratitude…for what I was eating…the beautiful weather…being able to take my first shower in 3 days…and lots more.

Last night I had what I call “little evaluation dreams.” I normally don’t remember my dreams, but I remember most of them from last night. They were all situational. Some I felt I did the right thing and in others I felt I made the wrong choice. They gave me some really specific things I need to continue to work on in my relationships, which is what life is all about…relationships!

So at this time my heart is reawakened, my 3^rd eye is still getting a work out and being balanced, and then it will be a matter of joining the open heart and 3^rd eye together, which may take some time. It feels like I have done years of work in the past few days. I am thankful for this process and I look forward to the new me. I don’t think I could have done what it seems I have done as quickly as I did without this illness.

I just felt like sharing. Peace Jon

Aura Pictures: http://healingartscommunitycenter.com/aboutme.htm

There are 2 pictures on the left side: The picture on top was taken in 1998, after I had been into metaphysical things like healing for a few years. It was taken prior to my mental madness. The LEFT side of the picture shows you what is coming in – the TOP what you are now – the RIGHT is leaving you. The top picture shows I have healing energy (green) and calming energy (blue) coming and healing energy going with creativity above me. The picture below it was taken about 2 weeks ago at a fair in town. It shows mental energy (yellow) coming and going with some creativity above. The pictures confirm that I had become mental man…able analyze the tallest building…etc etc.

I want to get back into teaching Shamanic Trance Dancing, so if you know of a place let me know. I need at least a 20 x 20 room.